Fries, Cats, Blanche, Exquisite Toenails and WM3

Last night I made some progress on the Etsy shop. Today I have a few things on my agenda but I hope to at least make a little prototype of what I’m going to start off selling. I just wanted to post an update about that so you know I wasn’t joshin ya and that I am a woman of my word.

Also, these cats are going to be the death of me. They have a new habit of SWARMING me when I get out of bed. They want to be fed. I usually feed them right away and now they are getting pushy. I want them to knock off the pushiness so I am making them wait a little. They follow me around and wind around me feet with every step making it impossible to walk. *sigh* Adorable assholes they are.

We got “Tales from the Crypt” from Netflix yesterday. It was good to see that dusty old pun-maker again. I want to watch it again NOW!

We just had grilled cheese and garlic fries for brunch. Have you guys ever had those garlic fries from Trader Joe’s? Ooooh do they have a lot of garlic on them but hot damn are they good!


I was writing that early this afternoon.  I’ve since run a bunch of errands and have also eaten again.  Really really fascinating stuff.  BUT here is a very, very vague prototype of what I’m going to be making.  I’ll show you more as I go along but I just wanted to share because I’m excited!  It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but it makes me chuckle.

One of my errands was going to print the Blanche stuff.  While waiting online at Staples, this woman was standing in front of me.  She was a MESS of crazypants but my favorite physical feature of hers were her lengthy, manicured toenails.  My favorite personal feature was that she was calmly standing in Staples and making copies of glamour photos but then she got on her cellie and started talking in a coquettish voice and saying she was stuck in traffic.  She said, “Oooooh there’s so much TRAFFIC!  It’s just terrible!”  And THEN she said she was on Crenshaw which is at LEAST twenty minutes from here.  And THEN she said she was rushing to wherever the person on the phone was, begged them not to leave and said she’d be there soon.  Then she got off the phone and went on with her business as calm and unrushed as ever.  Haha.  A-mazing.  And no I don’t know what is the matter with her heel.  If you know, please tell me.


P.S. And I can’t believe I found time to talk about some woman’s exquisite toenails and not about this!  The WM3 are going to get another hearing to see if they should get new trials based on the DNA evidence that exonerates them!  Big news!!!


This morning I had a hard time getting out of bed because it was so nice and cool outside.  I know that LA isn’t known for fresh air but lately the air has been smelling so nice when I sleep (there is a window right above my head).  I was up late writing something and then I had to get up early to help Kristyn get ready to go to work at her internship.   I could barely open my eyes.  I mean it usually takes me a few minutes but I’m up and at’m.  And I NEVER go back to sleep.  Once I’m up, that’s it, I’m up.

Today though I decided to go back to sleep for a little while after she left.  So unlike me to do.  I didn’t set an alarm because I figured I’d wake up in an hour or so.  1:30 pm guys.  1:30 pm.  I am suffering from that “What did I DO?!” sleep guilt now.  Ugh I hate this feeling.   I feel like a total bum.  And what in the world do I have to be tired about?!  Ugh.  *self-hatred*

I made some coffee and I’m going to take a quick shower to re-start the day.  When I get out I’m going to job hunt and then write up my schedule for the next week.  I have some important appointments to take care of that will help us out a LOT.  And then I have to be ready at about 5:45 because we have another show we have to go to for the music blog.  Kristyn has to cover a band and meet someone from one of the labels.

Kristyn woke up today without the ability to raise her right arm up at all.  We’re thinking it was from the other night when she had to lift a nearly two hundred pound dead dog.  But that was Sunday night and it didn’t hurt then.  All day yesterday we ran some errands and her lil’ arm was okay too.  Last night she was writing a lot on the computer but it didnt really hurt then either.  But this morning she could barely use it.  Curious.  I FORCED her to take some Ibuprofen and then rubbed some Icy/Hot on it also by force.  Kristyn is a nervous nelly and doesn’t like to take medicine.  But then she’ll cry over something silly like a headache until I force her to take an OTC pain reliever.  Then she’s all, “IDK why but it went away!” Now she’s at work and I can’t threaten her with a good bludgeoning if she doesn’t obey my medical orders and guess who hasn’t taken her ibuprofen or re-applied her Icy/Hot?!  *sigh*

Also I put a V-neck shirt on backwards before.  First time for everything.

See ya later I just felt like blahblahblahing for a minute before I got on with my Day and my cats witnessed all of these things happen.  Therefore they don’t want to hear about it again.

Forcing my hand

Guys, thankfully we got the internet up the other day. This is going to make job hunting SO MUCH EASIER. Besides that though I have come to a firm realization. If no one is going to hire me, I have to hire myself. I have been doing so much brainstorming trying to figure out what I can do to bring in some money. Over and over I am going over my skill set while making things with my hands. And the phone doesn’t ring and I’ve made yet ANOTHER crocheted blanket. I finally realized yesterday that I seriously have to put up an Etsy shop and start being serious about it. I’ve had a bunch of requests from people to make things for them but I have turned them all down. The REASON I’ve turned them all down is for a few reasons:

1) I’ve seen my Grandma open a craft business and it got to be a lot for her to do.

2) Crafts are labor intensive and I would need to charge accordingly for that which is something I know I’ll have a problem enforcing.

3) I feel funny about charging family and friends for things I’ve made.

4) I’ve been trying to come up with products I can turn around relatively quickly. (I think I have come up with some good stuff though.)

5) We don’t really have enough expendable income to seed this project.

BUT I have finally realized that we have a lot of good reasons TO start with this:

1) The shop might have been a lot for my Grandma to handle but she also had three of her kids living with her and a full-time job. I don’t have these problems.

2) I will just have to man up and set my own prices. We need money, plain and simple.

3) I need to feel productive and like I’m contributing more than just keeping the house clean and feeding these little furballs.

4) I am applying for jobs but they’re not calling back. I can drive all over LA asking for jobs but whenever I do that, we waste a ton of gas money because they just all tell me to go home and apply online. I can use that money instead to just seed this venture. Makes sense to me.

5) There are a LOT of farmer’s markets and craft shows all over LA EVERY WEEKEND. If I got on that circuit, I could make at least what I’d make working at a seasonal job at the mall. Yeah it would be more work but it would be less soul crushing. Also those people won’t give me the time of day. And if you say the words “seasonal work” to me, I will have to pinch you so hard. Trust me, I’m putting myself out there. They aren’t biting.

6) It could be a lot of fun. I’ve always done crafts and I have a lot of talent in this area. My Grandmas and Mother taught me a lot and the rest is stuff I taught myself. I like being in a creative frenzy. Whenever I get in that zone it’s like giving birth. IT HAS TO COME OUT. The problem is that my creative babies come in bursts so I always have like five projects I’m working on, all kind of getting done in spurts haha. But if I had a series of things I could just bang out all at once and a deadline to do it by, I could get a lot more done. Then the labor intensive things I could set aside for a different time.

7) TV. I could watch a lot of TV. I like watching TV.

So see? Good times had by all. The shop isn’t anywhere near up yet. I’m just posting this so I can formally give myself this challenge. A goal isn’t a goal until you write it down, no? And for me this means that I need to post it up here so that I will feel like an asshole if I don’t go through with it! Booyah.

Something tells me that Kristyn is going to get suddenly really good at crafts against her will. She already made the mistake of offering to help me sometimes. Mooohahahaha.

Happy Anniversary Kristyn!!! (Part 6)

Kristyn asked me to do a drawing of her a few weeks ago. I didn’t do her justice but here’s my rendition of Kristyn based on one of my favorite pictures of her.

Happy Anniversary Kristyn! I love you! :)

What I’ve been up to lately

Lately I’ve been getting back into drawing and painting.  I have a lot of ideas but most of these are me just fooling around.

Here’s my girl Bea Arthur:

The one, the only…Betty White:

Sookie Stackhouse:

Sarah Silverman is awesome:

One of my heroes Amy Poehler:

Ellen DeGeneres, I wish I had her life:

Someone I want to be…Tina Fey:

One of my favs, Kathy Griffin:

The always incredible Roseanne Barr:

And one of my BFFs, Sandra! (I miss you!):

I used pictures from the internet for all of these.  I definitely didn’t do any of these ladies justice but for drawings, they’re pretty ai’ight if I do say myself!

I’m nauseous.

For the past few days I have been extremely nauseous for no damn reason. My stomach isn’t affected by anything so this is sort of an uncommon feeling for me. It’s not terrible, it’s just that once in a while I feel like I’m going to yack but the feeling goes right away.

I was watching “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” last night and kept getting nervous because of the nausea. I had to keep reminding myself that there was no way possible for me to be unintentionally pregnant. This idea soothed me a bit but I have been pretty unfocused lately meaning that as soon as the idea was beat down, it would pop up again once I moved away from the thought. Even now I just had a thrill of paranoia that I could one night get lower abdominal pains and suddenly have a daughter named Clementine*.

* After watching “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, I was dead set on naming my future daughter Clementine. Kristyn has been trying to talk me out of this decision for somanyyearsnow. I’ve finally come around to realize what a potentially disasterous idea this is but whenever I rewatch this movie (or even the clip below — which I cried at by the way), I revisit the idea. And FOR SURE, if I accidentally squatted out a girlchild after enduring what I thought was a really bad case of gas, I would be in NO right state of mind to name a child. I can tell you as a fact that “Clementine!” would pop up out of my mind, I’d sign some forms and there you have it. Instant enmity from my spawn. “WHY MOM? WHY?!” “Because that movie breaks my heart Clemsies.” (Clemsies would undoubtably be one of the many nicknames that would fall out of my mouth for this child.)

Here is a video of that movie so you can have your heart broken and weep confused/nauseous/bored tears as well (I need a job):

UPDATE: I just watched that youtube video again (a few hours later) and cried AGAIN. I am SUCH an easy mark for weepy movies, haha. Good, good times.

Other than all this bullarcky (bullshit/malarcky) above, I’ve been doing tons of fuckockery (fuckery/mockery?) with my stubby-fingered hands. I have become a Paint-By-Numbers fool. Here are my “masterpieces”:

The good thing about Paint-By-Numbers is that it’s been kind of training me to paint more accurately and with precision. I usually kind of glob a bunch of paint onto a giant brush and have at it. Then I get confused why the painting looks like Mr. Hankey had at it. Here is my stab at Bea Arthur last night:

Bea is part of a larger plan I have and she’s not done yet. I just wanted to show her around the place a little.

Okay that’s enough kidinky dust (a bullarcky word compliments of Kristyn’s dear Grandma) from me for tonight, no?

Crafting, Libraries, Jobs and Slap Fights.

On Sunday I was REALLY bored.  I brought new meaning to the word, actually.  What I did to while away the time was make some vegan Almond Shortbread cookies.  Damn they were good:

Yesterday (Monday) we got a package in the mail from my Momma.  I was going to post a picture of the contents but I realized I took a picture of the letter along with the display of goodies.  Not sure if my Mom intended to publicly publish that letter so I’ll tell you what she sent us: A copy of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” (awesome), two pretty little brooches (awesome), a letter (awesome), and twenty beans to have a good time with (awesome).  Best of all, I liked the label closing the package, haha:

Yesterday we were going to go to the beach but decided to instead further our brains.  We finally went and signed up for Library Cards at the new Silver Lake Library.  Only in Silver Lake (Williamsburg West) would this sign exist in the public library’s parking lot.  It made me laugh out loud and I love it:

We got kind of gluttonous at the library.  Full disclosure: We went to Atwater Village’s library too because they had more stuff we wanted.  You can have books out for three weeks and extend it twice.  I guess that’s enough time to read all of these?  Either way, I have every book that I’ve wanted to read for the past YEAR in a pile at my house.  And YES that top book is a book about two cats and a corgie that solve murders in a rural Virginia town.  Don’t hate.

After the library(ies), we went to Michael’s so’s we could turn in my mother’s twenty beans for yarn and such.  (Kristyn got drawing supplies and I also got a Paint-by-Numbers).  The bottom square is a Christmas blanket I’m re-tooling.  I had started making a zig zag blanket but that’s going to take WAY too long.  Instead she’s gonna look like that.  The top square is part of another blanket I’m doing (but will explain in a hot minute).

I’ve been itching to do a paint-by-numbers for like two years now.  I don’t know why but that’s the truth.  I’ve read a lot of blogs recently where paint-by-numbers keeps coming up for some reason and decided to finish one for once.  (Kristyn is so patient with me.)  We sat outside on the lanai until well after dark.  I was painting these horsies while Kristyn read…

…this entire book out loud to me.  It was pretty good.  It was about modern feminism and the forms it’s taken on from Riot Grrrl to the Spice Girls and everything before, between and since.  It was a good read.

Well probably for the first half of the book I painted.  The second half, I started on another blanket I’m working on.  You can’t see it well in this picture but it’s all multi-color with black around the edges.

Basically what I want to make is a replica of the blanket that’s always on the back of the couch on Roseanne (with my own flair/colors).

Also, I had a job interview today for a job I *REALLY* want.  Please, please, please, please, please, please, please Goddesses of Gainful Employment, take pity on me.  I fling myself at your Birkenstocks.  I will stop picking at my split ends for one WHOLE year if you let me have this.  (No really, I will.*)  I will also continue to go walking three days a week and fit in one day of jogging at LEAST.

* Kristyn HATES that I insist on doing this.  We get into slap fights over it.  For serious.

Anyway, that’s all the kidinky dust I have for your right now.  Let’s hope and pray that I didn’t babble or do anything else untoward in this interview.  I’m on pins and needles, y’alls.

Sometimes it’s a burden to be great

This could have been me.

I had applied for and interviewed at Blockbuster. This was one of my “over-qualified” positions. The store is right around the corner. I can moonwalk there if I wanted to. It would have been a perfect way to score some duckets either as my main job (for now) or my side piece once I got a real job. Well, guys, get ready to spit tears out of your eye holes because it’s looking like being awesome has struck again. I was supposed to hear the gossamer phrase, “You’re hired bitch” today and that didn’t happen. The phone has turned against me and refuses to ring.

It’s tough being this excellent guys, but someone has GOT to do it.

(But seriously, if I was too talented to come inside, couldn’t they have just sent me the money as a cash prize for excellence? Americans.)

P.S. In case you have no sense of humor, I am making FUN of my current position by accepting my own awesomeness. Settle down. See the above photoshop job I did if you need further proof of my incredible mind.