Fire and Fury

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Cover image from Amazon.

I am currently listening to Fire and Fury. It’s not too different from the NY Mag excerpt so far. The book is just more fleshed out. The editors at NY Mag did a great job of removing sentences while keeping impact and readability.

Even if this story is full of holes, it can’t ALL be full of shit. If it were, Bannon, Conway, Spicer, Sessions, Ivana, Jared, et al would all be publicly griping. Instead, there’s silence. They’re calling Wolff a liar but also claiming that Bannon is in violation of his NDA which is a confusing bit of logic even if you wanted to believe it. I feel like Wolff did a good job of explaining how he got his info and that some of the info might sound hinky because of the chaotic way that people provided quotes to him. When I first read the excerpt, I felt like certain parts seemed like fanfiction but that it was interesting nonetheless.

I wish Charles were here to laugh at this with us haha. He’d be gasping over this like we are. I posted this picture of Bea Arthur on Charles’ Facebook page before:

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I don’t know where this image came from but I love it.

He loved the Golden Girls and (of course) so do I. I was telling someone that yesterday and it made me think of him. These are weird goddamn times we’re living through. How can Charles be gone and Donald Trump be President of the United States of America?!

Today was La Befana and we intended to celebrate it somehow but Kristyn had to finish a paper so we forgot. We love witches and Kristyn is half Sicilian so we were excited to learn about this tradition. Maybe we’ll do something witchy tomorrow to celebrate.

Tomorrow, I learned, is Little Christmas or Women’s Christmas (aka the Epiphany). We were both raised Catholic but are no longer practicing or consider ourselves to be. However, we are “culturally Catholic” and I never gave much thought as to why I keep the tree up for a week or two after the New Year. My Mom happened to mention the other day that she keeps it up for Little Christmas for luck. It turns out that I’ve been celebrating Little Christmas out of a familial Catholic habit. Life is weird. Anyway, I thought it was interesting because Women’s Christmas is celebrated in Ireland and Scotland and on that day, women go out and party while men take care of the house. I’m INTO this. Too bad there are no men here to exploit. Maybe I’ll make Giles and Monster (our cats) clean up their own litter boxes tomorrow. Here’s Giles looking pretty earlier tonight:

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G.

I’m writing this to wait out Kristyn until she’s done with her paper. It was due 8 minutes ago but if I know her, she’s still toodling. I think I need to go pry her fingers off the keyboard. It’s not that we have anything to do but I know that if I leave her to her own devices, she’ll futz with this paper until she passes out typing. I am going to go shout “SUBMIT IT!” at her. Goodnight!

 

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A Touch of “Little House on the Prairie”-related Homesickness

Lately I’ve been feeling kind of far away from the world, sort of out of touch. Our cable is off so I can’t even watch the same TV shows everyone is watching as a way to stay connected. I gave up my internship for a couple of reasons, one being that we couldn’t afford it anymore, especially since we were both doing Internships. It’s better for Kristyn to do hers because I’ve had my chance. And I don’t regret that because fair is fair and I love that she is so happy.

The problem with not going to that internship anymore is that I am home alone all of the time. And Kristyn is gone and out of the house all of the time. So I have nothing to do. Ever.

But I’m sort of okay with that too. It gives me a lot of time to think, a lot of time to create, a lot of time to job hunt and clean. I’m okay being by myself most of the time. But this is a lot.

When I love a TV show, I have to buy it on DVD. I like to have the option to watch them over and over again. I know that that’s crazy in the era of Netflix but there are some shows that I just can’t get over. And I want to work in television so I think of it as a form of research. I don’t ever want to mime someone else’s work but it’s important to study the things you like to gain creative inspiration, no?

So we mostly have a collection of sitcoms…and “Little House on the Prairie”. I bought season one a few years back, got through a quarter of it, got tired of Kristyn making fun of it and put it away. During those times we worked on the same schedule so we did everything together. There was literally no time to watch a television show that we didn’t both like (even though she would fall asleep as soon as we put something on haha). Anyway, I started watching it again and just love it so much. It’s so comforting. I like that it’s so innocent. And it remindeds me a lot of my Mom and my Nana and being a little girl.

The problem is that it is making me homesick. I love LA but I don’t like the climate. Everyone at home feels like it is something to be jealous of but honestly it gets old fast. We are only truly happy when it’s “cold” (aka 60 degrees) or rainy. There’s no change in the weather ever. But IDK, I’d surely be just as sad if I were back there.

Sometimes it feels like, “Why are we even here?” We’ve been here for over a year but haven’t gotten to experience what it’s like to live here at all. There’s no room for fun or enjoyment. Any day Kristyn has off, she just has to collapse and rest because tomorrow she has somewhere else she has to be. We’re always hurrying her out the door and it stresses her out and makes me feel guilty. But I’m trying, it’s just not working. And when she has off, all I want to do is get out of this horrible apartment and into the world but she needs that time to be here. To see the cats, to lay down on the couch, to not move. And when she’s at work, I can’t take the car and go out because we can’t afford the gas. So IDK we are in a bad cycle. We have come up with a plan that will likely be more affective than what we’re doing now in terms of the quality of our lives.

Because Kristyn works late, we tend to stay up late and then sleep late and then she has to rush out the door. We realized last night that if we get up early on the weekdays no matter what time she has to be to work, she will have more time to write her blogs, call her parents and enjoy being here. And I will be able to get up, keep regular hours, spend more time with her and maybe we can even go for a walk together or something. And then we can sleep in on the weekends like normal people do. So IDK, we’re going to try it this week and see.

Another problem is that we are not in our element here. When you live someplace for your entire life, you know how to keep yourself busy. You know where to find all the things you need and want. That is a huge reason why we LEFT NJ. We were tired of not having to use our brains. We WANTED a challenge. We WANTED to have all new things. The prospect of not knowing where to find things was something we wanted. And it’s something we still do want. The problem is that sometimes you DON’T want to have to think or plan. You just want to do. And everything we want to do involves a big-ass plan. So it’s tiring sometimes. For instance, I desperately want to go to a yard sale. Not a Hollywood Hills yard sale where everything is a ridiculous amount of money. I want to go to a cheap-ass yard sale where someone’s aunt is selling all their weird crap on their lawn for a bean. I want to buy seven things, hand them a fiver and get change back. But this is fucking Hollywood. There are regular people all over the place but the odds of me finding yard sales like that around here are slim to none. I found one recently but it was seriously just JUNK. Like stuff that ought to have been thrown out fifteen years ago and not saved under any circumstances. In NJ we went yard sale-ing all the time because we knew exactly where to troll for sales. And NJ is small so the odds of you finding a little nook with a sale are great. LA is huger than you can ever even begin to imagine. You could probably fit five New York Cities in LA (or more). It’s huge. So where the hell do you start?! That is the problem with this city. It’s so goddamn big! For everything the first question is, “Where do we start?!” So then I think, “Well I’ll go to a second hand store to get my thrift on.” Wrong. Everything is priced the way it would be if it were brand new and in a store which takes all the fun out of it even if I DID have money to spare. The fun part of thrifting is the hunt, the surprise of finding weird stuff you didn’t know you wanted and the low commitment of expense. I’m not interested in ripping people off but if you are charging $50 but a point and shoot 35 mm camera that probably sold for $10 five years ago, we have a problem.

And I know I’m rambling at this point but I need a good ramble and it’s doubtful you’re even paying attention anymore so whatever. Another problem we have is that people keep giving us advice. We appreciate it but this city is way too complex for anyone to really advise us on anything. In NJ/NY everything is so close together. Our conventional wisdom that works in that area just doesn’t work here. You can’t really walk to anything here. And when people said that to me before I moved here I was all, “Malarky!” But it’s true. Everything is farther than you imagine it to be. For instance, when driving down Santa Monica Boulevard towards home, there is this fast food place that I always take as a marker that I am home…just a little bit further now. But that fast food place is actually twenty minutes from my house. The drive is just so long that my brain remembers it as “almost home” and it is in no way “almost home”. In NJ, anywhere you want to go is 20 minutes away for real. We’ve gotten so used to LA’s hugeness that a 40 minute drive (one way) doesn’t seem like anything at all. When I drive Kristyn to work and come back again that’s 40 minutes each way and then another 40 each way to pick her up at night again. So that’s 160 minutes in the car which is TWO HOURS AND FOURTY MINUTES driving time so that I can have the car to go food shopping. Do you know how much gas that is?! Haha. It’s a lot. So we FINALLY learned that it’s just best for us to run these sorts of errands when Kristyn has off or when the car is already in this area either before she goes to work or when she gets home. Which of course leaves me here babbling to you guys, watching a million episodes of “Little House on the Prairie” and thinking about all the things I want to do but don’t know how to do here but would know exactly how to do if I were home. Vicious cycle guys, vicious cycle. And the horrible part is that I KNOW that if I were home either because we left here or because we never came here, I’d be crying about the exact reverse problem. I have ACTUALLY said these words in NJ, “Even sitting in an apartment in LA would be better than having a good time here!” I’m an asshole, what can you do?

BUT on the bright side, we are going to start the process of applying to schools out here. As much as I’m bitching, we both know that this is the place we have to be right now if we want to work in this industry. Naturally we can live home and work in New York in this industry if we wanted to but we both suspect that our resumes will look shinier if we learn the ropes and pay our dues here rather than there. Nothing says “Hollywood” like a diploma from “Hollywood”. And we are smart enough to realize that while adding school onto our load is only going to make us whine even more and look back on these times as “simpler times we wish we could go back to”. Life = suffering. Once you understand what that means it actually is kind of funny. The past and the future always look rosy and the present, no matter how sweet, always looks bleak because you’re in the midst of your problems, the realities right in front of you and the future unsure. I do know that despite all my whinging, we will look back on these days fondly. We were young, we were stupid, we didn’t have anyone to take care of but ourselves (and our million pets). We were living in the city of our dreams and following the path to the careers we always wanted. And I know we’ll definitely say, “Why did we need all those crocheted blankets again?”

So anyway, I’m gonna go now, cross-stitch and watch some more (you guessed it):

P.S. Someone needs to buy me the full collection of this show. Who cares if it veered into “who cares” territory towards the end. THE COLLECTION COMES IN A GODDAMN COVERED WAGON! How lovely (obnoxious) would that look presented on a mantle? “Welcome in friends. I have a mental illness not classified by the latest version of the DSM. Please put on a bonnet and have a wheatflour cookie.”

P.S. #2 Here is the episode I am going to go watch. It is a BEAUTYFUL episode and I tried to force Kristyn to watch it last night to no avail. This clip shows all the important parts, enough to rip out those heartstrings.

We’ve got a hater in the hizzy

Kristyn SW-EARS she doesn’t hate romance movies…will cut you if you infer that she does and THEN. If I watch a romance movie and tell her about it she is all “Yeah. Sure. That’s stupid. Ugh. Ridiculous.” Haha. She says the key is Romantic CO-ME-DIES. Without the comedy, she ain’t havin it. She said, “I HATE tearjerkers. I cry enough as it is.” Haha. Then she passed out. G’nite.

I have to hand it to her that the plot of “The Time Traveler’s Wife” (which I was describing) was a little far-fetched:

*****SPOILERS*****

So he gets a haircut, goes to the bathroom and disappears for five minutes and comes back through a window 40 years old. He gets married with gray hair, disappears and shows up in his twenties. He apologizes for missing the ceremony and she tells him he didn’t.

They try to get pregnant but she keeps losing it bc the fetus is time travelling out of her womb. He gets a vasectomy and she’s pissed so she makes him sleep on the couch. She gets a phone call from his younger self and picks him up in a car. She cheats on him with himself and gets pregnant by his younger, pre-vasectomy self.

*****SPOILER COMPLETE*****

So yeah, I smell what she’s steppin in but it was so sad! I cried and cried and ugly-cried. I love me some crying movies though, weeee doggies…

And here’s a movie that I ugly-cried to in the theater that Kristyn wants to lobotomize me for liking:

And here’s one she won’t touch with a ten foot pole although it’s SO GOOD:

I’ve been trying to watch more movies lately and have also been trying to embrace my love of tearjerkers. Basically I’ve been tearjerking all day long.

I’ll leave it right there.

Happy Easter!

P.S. Please disregard EVERYTHING you’ve read above (cept that Kristyn’s a hater) as they as the ravings of a woman who has not had a full nights’ sleep in five days haha. G’nite!

Addled Mind: Serial Mom

Serial Mom is just one of those movies that I can’t get over. Me and Kristyn lose our shit over this movie on a regular because it’s one of our favorites. This is, of course, a John Waters movie and combined with Kathleen Turner, it’s just a total masterpiece as far as I’m concerned. Kathleen Turner is at her total best as a happy-go-lucky Donna Reed-type mother who just happens to be a serial killer. She’s a “pre-Larry David” Larry David. She genuinely finds murder satisfying but does it in situations where social conventions or politeness has been breached. She manages to murder A LOT without anyone suspecting her for a while, leading a total double life. I just can’t with this movie.

I have posted a lot of videos because I just couldn’t choose between my favorites so I’ll post short descriptions ahead of them so you don’t have to watch all of them if you don’t want to (but you should).

In this scene, Beverly is making vulgar prank calls to her neighbor, Dottie Hinkle. It’s the infamous “PUSSYWILLOW” scene that has to be mentioned along with this movie:

Here is where shows Dottie that she’s been making the prank calls. Hysterical:

A slice of Beverly’s Donna Reed personality at work:

Beverly’s husband is a doctor. When Mrs. Sterner forces Beverly’s husband to go into the office on a Saturday morning for a trivial concern, Beverly decides to kill her. Beverly’s family are already onto her serial killing tendencies and call the police. The police show up and find Mrs. Sterner’s son masturbating in bed, haha:

Beverly’s son Chip works at a video store. Mrs. Jensen always returns her videos without rewinding them so Chip finally decides to charge her the extra dollar. Mrs. Jensen is rude to Chip about it and Beverly sees it:

Beverly breaks into Mrs. Jensen’s house to kill her while she’s watching “Annie”. She stops to give a kiss and a little slice of meat to Mrs. Jensen’s dog. Haha…If I weren’t such a good citizen, I might BE Beverly.

So if you’ve seen this movie, then I hope you enjoyed it. If you haven’t, do yourself a favor. Ricky Lake is in this shit!!! (And I got to go on her show once but that’s another story for another time.) (I met John Waters once also but that too is another story for another time…)

Addled Mind: Little Shop of Horrors

If I’ve watched Little Shop of Horrors once, I’ve watched it a thousand times. So weird, so corny, so spectacularly crazy. I love it. I loveloveLOVED Audrey but hated that bitch Audrey II. The below scene is my absolute favorite in the movie. I had braces and a lot of cavities when I watched this movie heavily so I really identified with the giant mouth. Enjoy y’alls!

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On3mrKW-Nk0&feature=youtube_gdata]

And here’s a little Audrey for your troubles:

Addled Mind: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble

Another movie that me and Christine just COULD NOT and did not WANT to get over is “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble”.

What, I ask the world at large, is not to love about this movie? It has all the following ingredients for success:

* Unrequited teen love
* John Travolta
* A teen, blonde ingenue
* Some bullies
* Parents that just don’t understand
* A recluse
* A crippling disease
* An oxygen tank
* Disco music
* A very special beach party
* A horse
* Betrayal
* A “first time” (but not in the traditional sense)

I could go on but I think I’ve made my point, no?

In case you have been living under a rock (or only recently came into being – I’m lobbing this directly at the “birthed in the 90’s” people, you know who you are), here is a synopsis.

Based on a true story, a kid is born with no immune system. Against all odds he survives but has to live in a bubble to be protected from all of our disgusting selves basically. He has a bubble in his home, he has a portable one, he has one made of a suit and sometimes he goes into one at the hospital. We meet him when he’s a hormonal teenager in love with the girl next door. It’s hard enough being a teenager without a bubble getting involved in the mix, smell what I’m stepping in? (Debi, that’s for you…)

So anyway, here’s a moment where he’s in the bubble just chilling. I always wanted to hang out with him in there and dance. *sigh*

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5a9ge8LKb4&feature=youtube_gdata]

Here is how he meets the girl and what his current sich is:

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhHeEwrPnWU&feature=youtube_gdata]

And HERE is the part where you have to rip your eyes out and put them in backwards so as not to slide into a deep depression. It’s a spoiler y’alls:

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vet9SObHI08&feature=youtube_gdata]

Give a bubble a chance, wontcha?

* Shit, I just watched the ending and it gave me a serious case of the sads.

Addled Mind: House “Ding Dong, You’re Dead”

House is a movie that me and my sister watched constantly. The crazy woman monster used to freak me out and make me laugh as a kid. This movie is NOT the apex of the horror genre at it’s finest but it’s a lot of fun to watch.

Basically a horror writer/former military guy goes to live in his dead aunt’s house because his son is missing and his wife left him. Soon he finds out that the house hates his guts and is trying to cut a bitch. No one believes him and he takes matters into his own hands. And then Wikipedia told me that the ghosts are just trying to reunite him with his son? I don’t remember that little bit of tough love but I like it.

This is one of my favorite horror movie monsters ever just because she looks so damn cool. She might even be a style icon for me:

I can’t hear this song below without thinking of this movie.

“Scary moments”:

Addled Mind: The Boy Who Could Fly

Some girl photoshopped her head onto the cover and I like it.

The watched the shit out of “The Boy Who Could Fly” when I was a kid. I know it’s corny, it just made me laugh, it made me bored and it tugged on my heartstrings all at the same time. Can’t ask for more than that.

Addled Mind: The Legend of Billie Jean

Me and my Sister made my Mother rent this movie from Mr. Video EVERY SINGLE DAY. I distinctly remember her saying, “WHAT is so special about this stupid movie?!” And I remember that my response was something to the effect of, “Cuz it’s awesome MOM…”

Also, this movie should’ve been akin to a Gaylord Ouija for my parents. “Will my daugher marry a short haired lady?” “YEEEESSSSS YEEEEEESSS…ODDLY ENOUGH SHE WILL BOTH MARRY THIS WOMAN AND SORT OF BEEEEEE THIS WOMAN…” In Ouija Board shorthand however, it would have just said, “Satan” and they’d have had to work it out on their own. Whatever.

Here is a clip that kind of summarizes the entire movie set to Pat Benatar’s “Invincible”. Awesome.

This is a clip from the beginning of the movie when they first go on the lam:

This is exactly the same way it happened to me! What’re the odds?:

This is argueably the most famous part of the movie for schizzle:

And here is the part where the bad guy gets his due (booyah):