18 pills, Disney, and Drag

Hi y’all. I’m literally blogging so that I have something to do while I take my pills and vitamins. Every day I have to take 18 pills; 5 of which are prescriptions and 13 of which are vitamins. I’ve always taken a lot of vitamins every day but post-surgery, you HAVE TO. Because you’re eating much less, your body won’t get the nutrients it needs unless you take vitamins. It’s just kind of a safeguard to make sure that you’re as healthy as possible. Luckily, it’s not a change for me because I already took all these vitamins. The ones that I HAVE to take are a multi-vitamin, calcium citrate, B-12 and vitamin D. The ones I take because I want to are fish oil and probiotics. Then the prescriptions are all my normal day to day with the inclusion of one that stops me from getting gallstones; which is a potential known complication of this surgery. The PROBLEM about all of this is that I suddenly have difficulty swallowing pills. I never had an issue with it in my life but now it’s hard to choke them down. Even though I’m taking the exact same pills I took voluntarily pre-surgery, it’s now a trial and a tribulation to take it post-surgery. Part of it is that it’s insane to have so many pills in that tiny stomach pocket at one time but the other part of it is that something is up with my throat in that it seems more narrow. I don’t know why this is but my body changes so rapidly all the time now that I assume that it’s a problem that will resolve itself with time. For example, last week I couldn’t finish an entire egg and today I ate an egg and a half. Last week, I couldn’t cross my legs and this week I can (with some effort). Next week, I might be able to cross them with no effort at all. Who literally knows.

I should say that I am now 224 pounds which is a loss of 48 pounds total. I’m literally two pounds (or a few days) away from having lost 50 pounds! I was telling Kristyn this morning that even IF I didn’t lose another pound, this would still all be worth it. I don’t think I look much different objectively (see photo above – taken last week) but I FEEL much better in my body; much more “myself”. I am finding myself sitting in ways that I used to sit all the time that I couldn’t anymore because of my weight. That’s a really weird thing to say but it’s the truth. What I mean is that I’ve always been a really flexible person but the more weight I gained, the less flexible I became. I thought that was a result of ageing but no, it was just the weight. So lately, I find myself sitting cross-legged or sitting on my feet while in a chair and literally, I couldn’t do that before. It’s a small thing but it’s freeing in a weird and hopeful way. Literally, who the hell knows why some people gain a lot of weight and others don’t? But the reality is that it’s death by a thousand cuts where you don’t know how to fix it but things keep getting progressively worse in small ways that are difficult to share. Before you realize it, your body is a prison. It’s really odd and I’m really glad I went through with this gastric sleeve surgery. I’d do it again tenfold and would recommend it to anyone.

So also, as we mentioned, we got a Disney+ membership and have been binging the animated movies “from the vault. So far, we’ve watched 8 movies. We’re trying to watch them in order of how they were released but we can’t help but to skip some that we’re less familiar with or because we want to jump ahead to ones we’re reminiscent about. Snow White was more gorgeous than I remembered and I can see why this movie flipped people’s wigs back in 1937. The animation was gorgeous and much more sophisticated than you’d think but also, compared to watching Frozen and Frozen 2 the other day, it was also very…I don’t want to say “rudimentary” but in comparison, it was much more simple. It was funny and beautiful and I feel like I forgot so much of it. I mean, these movies you just assume that you know everything about them but the last time I saw Snow White, I was probably a teenager so 25 years ago?! Howevr, this was one of my favorite movies as a kid and a teen and Kristyn felt “meh” about it. In fact, she feels so “meh” that she won’t rewatch it with me. Foolish on her part.

So then we watched Pinocchio which is a movie that I think maybe I only THOUGHT I saw but actually didn’t? This was one of Kristyn’s favorite movies as a kid. The weird thing is that we had a video of Disney songs that showed clips of all of these movies so maybe sometimes I think I actually saw the movie but actually didn’t? It could also be that the last time I saw this movie, I was an actual child. IDK, Disney is so weird with their whole “vault” deal so when I was a kid, they’d only re-release movies at certain times so it wasn’t possible to watch them whenever you wanted. But also? Kristyn and I worked at Disney World for six months and have been to both Disney World AND Disney Land a million times so I think there’s a point of saturation that happens where you’re like, “Yeah I know what this movie’s whole deal is but honestly, I had no idea how Jiminy Cricket fit into the whole Disney pantheon so I can’t have seen this movie, LOL. Anyway, it was great and I’m so glad we watched it. 40 isn’t too late to watch Pinocchio haha.

So then we watched Dumbo which is a movie that we’d both seen. This was one of Kristyn’s favs as a kid because she was partial to movies about animals and I was partial to movies about people. This movie wasn’t really my deal; then or now. I’m glad we re-watched it but there’s nothing that helps me get into this movie. One thing I WILL say is that I had zero clue that it’s set in fucking Florida. I guess I’m used to Disney movies being set in England or somewhere in Europe that it made me legit LOL when they said they were in FLORIDA of all places but it makes a lot of sense because of Disney World; which I don’t think was a glimmer in Walt’s eye back then. IDK, anyway, that movie was a bust for me.

Then we watched Bambi while doing an arduous task. Bambi is one we’d both seen as kids and liked. It was one of Kristyn’s favs and I felt warm about it but could not go under oath to say it’s one of my favs. Honestly though, I’m glad we rewatched it. It was so beautiful and sweet and SHORT; only an hour or so long. The arduous task we completed while watching this was taking all of the lights off of our pre-lit Christmas tree. Last year, we had the ONLY drama with that lovely tree. After we fully decorated it, half the tree’s lights went out. To rectify it, we had to string additional lights on it but it looked terrible because we didn’t want to un-adorn the tree to do it which meant that we strung the lights on OVER the balls and garland and then tried to tuck the lights in to look like we hadn’t done it. Foolish. We also had a drama with it where we originally set it up in one place in the room that was different than where we normally put it but it was too close to the door and we had to move it mid-season. I am normally a “let’s keep it up for as long as possible” person but last year I couldn’t wait to rip it down. From mid-November onward, I’ve been looking for a new tree to replace this one; scoping out Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, looking in stores, looking at trees NOT on sale. Honeslty, none of them appealed to me like this tree did. Kristyn’s parents bought us this tree about five years ago in a post-Christmas sale. They spent $15 on it which I can’t believe but they swear is true. It’s 6.5 feet and came with pre-lit white lights and is SO foolishly easy to set up and take down. Plus, the needles on it are really varied and it makes it look real or at least very pretty. The ones I found online; even at higher price points just didn’t thrill me and I didn’t feel like putting up a real one this year. So we dragged the tree up from the basement and tried to fix the lights; replacing the burnt out bulbs with new ones. Too many bulbs were burnt out though so we gave up on that jobby and figured “It can’t be too hard to remove all the lights”. Wrong. Incorrect. Stupid. It took forever to do (well, the length of Bambi which is an hour long) and it was so meticulous. Still, we got it done and saved the tree. We just strung other lights we have on it and Kristyn said it looks the best it has in years. Debatable but at least we were able to eke another year out of our lovely tree and Bambi was good company to offset the drama.

I watched Cinderella alone because this is another movie that Kristyn is too good for, LOL. (She’s going to be mad at me for saying that.) This was one of my favorite Disney movies as a kid because it was the first VHS tape my parents bought (alongside ET) when we got a VCR. We watched the shit out of this movie. I put it on when I went to bed two nights in a row (because I’d fallen asleep before it ended). The music in this movie is really beautiful. I guess the story is just fine but this movie really takes me back to childhood because it was just a big part of it. I even wore a blue Cinderella dress to my senior prom because of it. It was a blue/silver dress with a tight bodice and a wide skirt like Cinderella’s was. If you’re a teenager and you get the chance to be Cinderella at your senior prom, you take it.

We watched Alice in Wonderland together. This was one we were both looking forward to watching but both felt a little “meh” about. I don’t think I ever saw this movie as a child but watched it as a teenager instead. This movie appeals to teenagers because there’s no rhyme or reason to it and it has a bit of a sinister vibe. That is EXACTLY what makes it unappealing to me as an adult. I WANT to have my heart warmed. I WANT to love the characters and shed a tear when something terrible or wonderful happens to them. There’s not really much heart to this movie which is fine, it’s just not my style. I mean, there’s no exposition whatsoever to this movie. It’s just “hello here’s Alice” and then “bam” she’s falling down the rabbit hole. And then kind of…why is she following the rabbit? Like maybe I didn’t pay enough attention but there doesn’t seem to be a solid reason other than curiosity that lead her to follow him and then when she IS there, everyone’s nuts. Eh, I probably won’t watch this one again unless it’s with a kid. I don’t hate it, it’s just not my “cup of tea”. Blerg.

Last night, we watched Peter Pan. This was one of Kristyn’s favs and I liked it alright as a kid. Frankly, I couldn’t get into the whole pirate thing. I think weirdly that I didn’t like Neverland much. It was too chaotic. I DID like the scenes when they were at home though. I guess I’m a homebody to my core. One thing, one MAJOR thing, that took us both by surprise was how much anti-Native sentiment is in this movie. It’s wild how we all, as a culture, just gloss over the racism of this movie and are like “Oh, it’s a wonderful fantasy!” GURL, they use the word “savages” and every single Native American stereotype possible. Even Kristyn forgot about this and it was one of her favs. Also? A tidbit? I worked at the Peter Pan ride at the Magic Kingdom. That ride ALSO glosses over the anti-Native sentiment. It’s one of my favorite rides there because it’s beautiful flying over England with the twinkle lights and the small houses. IDFK. We were both agog.

Last night we also watched Lady and the Tramp. Well, I watched the whole thing and Kristyn fell asleep so we’ll need to rewatch it again tonight. This movie was a fav of both of ours. I haven’t watched this one a ton but I remember liking it. I’m really really glad we watched this. It was sooooooooo cute! Shirley (dog) and Giles (cat) were into watching it too. They were legit watching the movie. It just was so cute. I had forgotten the ENTIRE plot which is that Lady is adopted by a couple and treated like their baby BUT THEN they get pregnant and start de-prioritizing Lady. Tramp is a stray who comes along and charms Lady and tries to show her the advantages to living a “free” life on the streets but everyone gets a reality check when they get sent to the pound and risk being put to sleep. Grim but real ish. I’d watch this again. This whole Disney+ thing is cool because you can put it on to go to sleep. All the movies, even the ones you don’t love, have nice voice acting and music to relax and go to sleep to. Partytime excellent.

So, if at night we’re being really wholesome and watching Disney movies, by day we’re letting our freak flags fly and watching the Werq the World tour documentary series on Wow Presents + while we eat or do anything in the kitchen. Honestly, it’s so good. I love watching these people perform and prepare to perform and travel the world. I wish I had a life where I could do this for a living. I love ethe fantasy and artistry of drag but I hate how it’s a closed door to women. I mean, you gotta push the damn door open, you can’t expect it to open without doing it yourself and there are plenty of people doing it.

One other thing I want to say about drag is that we watched Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts the other day and I’m weirdly proud of a drag queen I’ve never met. The movie was so good and so personal. She has just taken the shittiest things that ever happened to her and turned it into an art form that makes people LOL. I love and appreciate that. Her abusive step-father called her a “Trixie” to make her ashamed of being an effeminate boy and she turned that insult into a name and identity that helps lots of LGBTQ+ people feel better about the world we live in. That’s strength and resilience. Anyway, she’s really killing it lately with a makeup line, a YouTube show, a Netflix series, a standup show, this movie, a new album, and a new book coming out. Proud of her!

Anyway, THIS, cleaning, eating, taking pills, and exercising is what I’ve been doing with my leave of absence. I gotsta go in the shower now because we’re going to head to the movies and go to the supermarket. Maybe we’ll even drive around with the top down looking at Christmas lights. Later!

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