Lately, I keep compulsively buying books. I am buying them faster than I can possibly read them. It’s a crazy thing to do and I don’t know why I’m doing it. Well, I know “why”: I love books. However, why so many? Why now? What do I think that buying all these books is going to get me? I’m in a “seeking” phase of my life right now so I’ve been trying to find ways to improve myself but also ways to feel more like myself but also ways to change? It’s a confusing time all-around.
I went to an appointment in Montclair last night and once I arrived, I realized that I was there one day early. I decided to instead go to the book store across the street so I could at least make something of this trip. Walking around that bookstore is cool because it’s just stacks and stacks of new and used books all combined on the shelves and organized by genre. It’s organized kind of like a college bookstore but for pleasure reading. In the picture below, you can kind of see what the stacks look like. There are all these little corridors and rooms to go into. It’s really an interesting place.
But seriously though, I’ve been buying Kindle books, IRL books, audiobooks…I do have a goal to read 52 books in 2016 and I’m on my way towards doing that. However, I seem to get really excited about a book, I buy it, and that ends the excitement. The “having” is the goal I guess, not the reading. Part of it is that I’m still traumatized from school. Reading so much against a deadline had made it feel like a chore to read which is a shame because I love reading. I actually read all day long if I’m left to my own devices but it’s mostly online articles on tons of subjects. Some of it’s stupid fluff and some of it is vvvv serious “World News and Current Events” (ahem). I just need to direct that nervous energy back towards books. I’m always much happier and feel more accomplished when I do that. Part of it is “the times” we’re living in, I guess. Fast paced, need for instant gratification, everything is digital, 24 hour news cycle…it’s easier to get a buzz off completion from reading a quick article rather than delving into a 100K word book.
Anyway, we got up and out early today for an appointment. I really didn’t get up much earlier than I usually do but I’m exhausted for some reason. Maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. We also had a lot of sugar after the appointment so maybe I’m just crashing. I’m not used to having such a sugar overload in the morning anymore. Time to go get ready for worksies.
P.S. I wanted to say how heart-warming it was to see an entire rack of Babysitter’s Club books on a shelf. I wandered around the entire store and then into the kids’ section. After all these years, I’m still drawn to that section because it’s where my love of reading blossomed. When I was a kid, my parents said they’d always give me money for books and art supplies if I wanted it so I took them up on their offer. We had a local bookstore called “Daniel’s Den” at the time and I loved walking up there with a few dollars in hand to pick out some books. My favorites were, of course, the Babysitter’s Club, but also the Sweet Valley Twins (not High for some reason), Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, and then all the multitudes of kiddie horror novels by Christopher Pike and R.L. Stein. It was such a treat to get books as a kid so maybe I’m just tapping into that headspace. Things to consider. Now I need to go sleep through taking a shower.
P.S. #2 I ended up buying Little Women, In Cold Blood, and My Sister Roseanne (written by Geraldine Barr). I’ve been trying to read In Cold Blood forever and cannot do it digitally for some reason. I figured that a paperback might help. I’ve never even TRIED to read Little Women for some reason which is weird. The My Sister Roseanne one just looked really good. I read the Madonna tell-all written by her brother and found it interesting to see someone’s opinion from just outside.