Guys. You ever have one of those moments where you find out that you are a naive idiot? Kristyn and I just had a super genuine one. We were at a liquor store buying two bottles of champagne (Freixnet Rose & Brut if you must know). We moseyed up to the counter to pay and while the guy was ringing us up, Kristyn pulled up a tiny glass tube with a wee rose in it. She said “What kind of cockamamie gift is this? What is this? Who you give this to?” I said, “Give me that, let me see. Oh, I guess it’s a stupid rose you give to a loved one.” As we were having this stupid conversation, the man at the counter blurts out “It’s a crack pipe.” We were like “WHAT?!” He was mad laconic. “Yeah, it’s a crack pipe.” “This thing? This is a crack pipe?” “Yes, it’s a crack pipe.” We just LOL’d forever even though it’s not funny:
A) What a crazy thing.
B) We are so naive.
C) That guy’s delivery was on point.
So then we started asking questions and they said that they’re always surprised by the people who come in and buy them. It’s often people who don’t look the sort at all; basically like me. So sad and crazy.
It made me realize that I probably should just do a Master’s degree program. Fill up my time. No time for crack pipes. (Not that I have a hankering for crack but basically what they said made me realize that any old bish could be a crackhead.)