Horrible Day


Image from here.

Today has been a really sad day. The first thing I read when I opened my eyes this morning was that at least 20 people had been killed and another 20-ish people had been harmed in a mass shooting at a gay club in Orlando. I must have read it when I was half asleep because I immediately fell back to sleep and dreamt about it constantly. I was having a dream that felt like reality. I don’t even know what that was about anymore. All I remember is that everyone was going on as if everything was alright and I kept saying “Wait, what about the shooting in Orlando? Aren’t we going to talk about that? Aren’t we going to deal with it?” No one could hear me. Since I’m sick, I had woken up at 6:30 in the morning with the driest mouth and headache ever. I had taken Shirley out, had taken some medicine, and then laid down on the couch to go back to sleep. Kristyn got up about two hours later and I woke up when she came into the living room. I checked the internet because I thought that maybe I’d made the shooting up in my dream. I checked CNN and it was for real. I told Kristyn and then we switched between CNN and MSNBC all day.

It was infuriating because, at least at first, the media was rushing in to blame this on “radical Islamic terrorists” and completely avoiding mention of the LGBTQ or Latino communities affected by this horror. I stopped watching it after a while because I can’t take it. It’s such a horrible thing to have happened and nothing is going to change. Not one thing will change from this. Nothing ever does. Obama spoke at around 2pm and I think that the most potent thing he said was that “doing nothing is also a choice”. I’m fed up.

The other horrible thing is that someone was arrested bringing assault rifles and the components to a bomb to the LA Pride parade, which is also today. WHY?! And then people wonder why we get mad  when the media is hesitant to call this a hate crime against LGBTQ people. It’s easier to say “oh this was the work of a radical islamic terrorist cell” than it is to recognize that, despite everyone’s big talk, our country still has a pretty baked in dislike of LGBTQ people, people of color, women, fat people, differently abled people, and anyone who isn’t the hegemonic ideal. Let’s protect our right to buy AK-47’S, THAT’S a right. Forget the rights of actual human persons to live until “natural causes” takes over.

Those last two sentences were sarcasm. Anyway, I need to find a way to bring peace not only to myself but to other people to, in my own small way. I’m working on it.


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