III The Empress


Today I pulled the Major Arcana card III The Empress. I have also literally never pulled this card before. Two for two. I love looking at this card. It’s so beautiful. A white tree stands against the dark night sky. The tree’s leaves radiate outward in light pink, fuschia, and dark lavender. A crescent moon rises over the Empress’ left side. This card feels peaceful, hopeful, strong, and magical.

The book says “Creation, Nature, The Mother.” “The empress is the mother, or the goddess of the tarot. Her energy encompasses all that is warm, fertile, creative, and sensual in the world. Her strength comes from being gentle and compassionate, and loving without binding. When this card appears it’s either pointing to a maternal relationship in your life, or the side of yourself that wants to love more. The empress also suggests it’s time for you to reconnect with nature. Go outside tonight and find the moon.”

I really need do do all of the above. Meaning, I need to expand my horizons with my relationships; connect with friends. I also need to get out of the house. I was reading an article called Alone We Stroll: A countercultural history of walking about “the flâneur” last night. From the article, the flâneur is 19th Century French concept that Charles Baudelaire got all obsessed with. A flâneur is “a particular type of urban (often wealthy) dandy, to be found meandering in the metropolis; observing society, yet somewhat removed from it. An observer, a listener, an aesthete and radical thinker.” I learned about this concept in an art class I took last year and it tickled me then. Basically, a flâneur wanders around looking at things, having fun, and generally just amusing himself. I can do this.

I have been trying to go out to walk for fitness but that idea is so goddamn dry. The idea of “walking for fitness” brings to mind me strapping on sneakers with arch support, Fitbit strapped to my wrist, and an “ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS, MARCHING INTO WAR” mindset. No. This is never going to be the sort of machinelike thinking to motivate me. If I’m going to be motivated to do something, it has to be somewhat silly, somewhat educational, and it has to feel like fun.

I googled “female flâneur” and the word that came up is “flâneuse.” WHAT. I could DEFINITELY be a flâneuse. Couldn’t you see me as a flâneuse? Basically, I’d just be a gadabout wandering around town to see what everyone is up to. I wish I’d read this article earlier this month because I could have spent the month gawking at everyone’s Christmas decorations but nooooooo. Instead I spent the month indoors THINKING about wandering around with forceful intention. I could have done the same wandering with the loosey goosey jocular intent of the flânteuse. What a waste. Oh the humanity.

Okay, I gotta GTFO for now. One thing I will say is that becoming a flâneuse (that word is starting to make less and less sense to me the more I type it), will bring me closer to motherhood. Bringing it back to the Empress, I think I’m not ON the right track yet, but I’m getting there.

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