I’m lonely


This is a hard place to be happy, as pretty as it is. I’ve been here for over a year and a half and haven’t made any new friends. Like I’ve made friends that I like a lot but no one I can call up and talk to or go out with. I realized that yesterday. And me and Kristyn have ZERO days off together and it’s starting to weigh heavily on us. Whenever we do see each other, we are rushing off to someplace else or need to go to sleep SO that we can rush off to someplace else. There’s nothing we can do about it and it’s all for a better good. But it’s very, very, very lonely.

P.S. Please note that I am NOT a Chris Brown lover BUT I googled “sad face” and this came up. It made me chuckle so here he is.

P.S. #2 Coincidentally, I am currently listening to Michael Jackson. I think Chris Brown would like that.

P.S. #3 I had two back spasms in the shower just now. One small, one medium-sized. I have realized that when I’m stressed out, my lower back tightens up and then spasms. I need to calm the fuck down.

P.S. #4 A few months ago I was hysterically crying about something on the phone with my Mom and she said, “CALM DOWN! YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A GODDAMN HEART ATTACK AND THEN YOU’LL BE DEAD IN CALIFORNIA AND HOW CAN I HELP YOU THEN?!” Haha. You can take the nurse out of the ER but you cannot take the nurse out of the Mom. I am going to try to apply that gentle advice to today haha.

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