Last night we went to the supermarket after I picked Krissy up from work to pick up some cat food etc. I was in a cookie mood but also totally irresponsibly indecisive. I agonized over my cookie choices until Kristyn said, “THEN DON’T GET ANY!” (To be honest this was after me dramatically -and rhetorically- wailing, “Maybe I don’t even WANT cookies!!!” FYI, I don’t ever not want cookies.) So I said, “OMG YOU’D DO THAT TO ME?!” At this point she turned on her heel and shuffled out of the cookie aisle.
An hour and forty-five minutes later (give or take an hour and forty minutes) she came back and found me lying on the ground holding two packages of Mother’s cookies, one Macaroon and the other Chocolate Chip and staring soberly into space. (An aside: If you live in California, it is considered a hate crime if you don’t immediately shout out “MOTHER’S COOKIES!!!” when asked what your favorite cookie is. Fact.)
So Kristyn played some head games with me trying to suss out which one I wanted more. (Another aside: I don’t even like chocolate chip cookies, I just WANTED them. I DO however like macaroons a LOT and therefore didn’t want to buy them. This would make a lot more sense if we were all PMSing.)
So what happened next was a choose your own adventure type mystery without any of the choice and all of the mystery. Kristyn told me she was gonna choose FOR me. This made me happy and I decided to walk away so as not to interfere with her choice. I set off in a brisk clip toward the register and looked anywhere but at the groceries. I wouldn’t even rest my eyes on the computer as he was ringing stuff up. I carried the groceries out but swore not to even look at the bags lest I see through it to the package of cookies. We drove home and I decided to take it to another level. With my eyes closed I tried to find the cookies on the table. Unfortunately I was rummaging around in the wrong bag and I had to peek to find the right one. When I did, I closed my eyes, took out the package and held my breath (for fear I’d smell the answer). I put one in my mouth AND…
To read the rest of this click the jump.
…AND here was what she picked!
Honestly I had a few clues.
1) Kristyn was dismayed by my follow-through on keeping this mystery alive because…
2) I think she was toying with my mind. SHE knew that if she picked chocolate chip, I’d definitely be convinced I need macaroon and then I’d get what I wanted originally BUT…
3) I screwed things up by suddenly getting all follow-throughy and iron-clad will about shit.
4) So in the car she said, “You’re not gonna be happy…”
5) When I opened the cookies, I held my breath but I did it a half a second too late and caught a bit of a whiff of chocolate chip.
6) In my head I screamed a silent “NO!” and then bit into a delicious chocolate chip cookie.