WE WORKED OUT WITH RICHARD SIMMONS TONIGHT!!! Oh my God seriously it was so awesome. He has a studio called Slimmons in Beverly Hills that you can go take classes with him on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He came in almost right after we did in his striped shorts and glitter tank top. He was like, “OMG look at the two of you!” He kissed Kristyn on the cheek and then gave her a big hug and then did the same to me. He was like, “Oh your hair is all wet! You should never go out into the cold like this with wet hair!” to me. So cute.
The workout experience itself was incredible. So damn chaotic and fun. There were a lot of people and it was just like being in Sweatin to the Oldies. All different types, ages and sizes of people. He played all his music on vinyl records that he changed himself throughout. He was so nice but surprisingly salty as well. Definitely more profane than the Richard Simmons you know and love.
At one point he made us all dance in a circle. Once we were in a circle he came and took mine and Kristyn’s hands and lead us into the middle of it to dance with him. I’m usually like “No, no, no” but there is something disarming and authoritative about him that you find yourself just going along with the program before you know what you’re doing. And the whole night you spend stunned. I think everyone was stunned. Like he has the energy of a fifteen year old, so he never tires, screams all kinds of shit throughout. This hollering ranges from such gems as:
YOU’RE ALL SO GODDAMN CUTE YOU’RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
“SHE AIN’T NO SECRETARY, SHE’S A BITCH!!!
“WHAT’RE YOU A BUNCH OF BADLY TIMED CLOCKS? PULL IT TOGETHER PEOPLE!”
The workout was intense too. Like an hour or so of almost nonstop cardio and then a half hour of weights, crunches and legwork. This is followed by stretching and a motivational speech about eating right. At the end he tells us he loves us and then actually takes the time to hug and kiss every…single…person. And you can take your picture with him too. I mean it was the bomb. And only $12. Can’t do that shit in NJ.
Here I am, stunned and post-Richard (or Dicky as he calls himself). I decided to smile and show my teeth for once because I decided a closed-mouth smile didn’t cut it due to the occasion.
Here is Kristyn sleeping again. I should have taken her picture while she was awake because she had a really good day. Alas I forgot and this is what you get instead. Still cute though unconscious.
Okay I’m watching “Believe”, that documentary about Eddie Izzard. Gotta go. G’nite!