The Desperate Housewives Thing

FYI: This post has been hanging around in my Drafts folder since mid-December so about a month or so.  Since this happened, the Desperate Housewives episode I was on aired and my person was left on the cutting room floor.  Before you pat me on the back and hand me a hanky, I am actually A-OK with this and this is not me just “being strong”.  I was actually more nervous for anyone to see me than anything haha.  I am more of a thrill-seeker/doer than I am attention-monger so the experience of doing this (and getting paid for it to boot) was more than enough.  The “seeing me do this” was actually kind of the only downside but I wasn’t going to rob my fambly from seeing me mug on national tv, especially when I’m so far away.

Anway, if you want to read about what it was like, go read the jump below.  I wrote this a while back and haven’t re-read it, I just want to post it so I can have it for my own memory because I doubt lightening will strike twice haha.

For anyone on my FB page, this is old news but for anyone
else, this needs a little clarification.

SO, a few months ago, we signed up for Central Casting. I’d done a TINY bit of background work in NY about ten years ago. I dropped out because the hours were hella long and hard to keep up while working full-time. Also the agency was in the middle of Times Square. This was before everything was on the internet so I had to do one of two things. I had to drive into the city to pick up a list of jobs every Thursday OR let them mail it to me. The problem with letting them mail it to me was that it wouldn’t get there until Saturday. By that time, the more savvy people would have already snapped up the jobs. I grew up in a town that is about 20 minutes outside midtown NYC but trust me there is nothing like Lincoln Tunnel traffic. I mean the agent’s office was only a few blocks outside of the Tunnel but STILL. And I could have taken a train but that would have taken the same amount of time if not MORE. At least this way I was in my own car and not rubbing up against a drunk person whose mission is to sing at the TOP of their lungs for ten stops. (True story from multiple PATH train rides of yore.) ANYWAY. We figured that Central Casting is kind of a required LA experience PLUS it would be easy cash. The problem is that when you call them yourself, they almost never want your type. It’s always like “We need a lazy middle-eastern man with bulging biceps who is at least 72 years old but reads as 50. Also, you need a white classic car. Particularly a Chrystler.” Or some shit like that. Turns out there is little need for portly, short 30-somethings in Hollywood! Who knew?! So we gave up on that shit with a QUICKNESS. They called me up TWICE though for a bikini shoot. I shit you not. It was for a style show. Like one of those, “Oh no you DIDN’T wear that crap, let’s stamp out all of your self esteem!” shows. I guess they had two portalicious babes that they needed to show wearing bikinis to exhibit their beastliness. I guess those smart hos said, “Look I will take your cash and prizes in exchange for my self-esteem but I draw the line at public nudity. Isn’t this what Central Casting is for?” And they said, “Oh. Right.” and called me. Before you get your panties in a twist, they WERE going to pay me handsomely and promised the utmost in professionalism. AND the shows were legit shows that I have actually seen with my own portly eyeballs. And Central Casting isn’t some back-alley operation. They provide background workers to like EVERYTHING you see on TV and in the movies. BUT although I money, I wouldn’t wear a bikini in front of YOU guys let along AMERICA. So I gave a hearty N to the O fucking way. So last week I was driving to pick Kristyn up from her internship. I got a call but didn’t pick up because I was driving. I listened to the voicemail and it was all, “Hi this is so and so from Central Casting. We were wondering if you are free on Thursday because we have some work for you on Desperate Housewives if you’re interested. Bye now.” I pulled the hell over and called her back with a quickness. I actually don’t watch that show (but my sister LOVES it). But I LOVE TV and want to work in TV SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT. I just loved the idea of getting to see the set and the crew! Plus, hello money and the chance to see Marc Cherry and the Desperate Housewives themselves! So I said yes and two days later I found myself being shuttled around the Universal lot to Wisteria Lane. WTF. Central Casting had asked me to dress springy and pastel-ish but costuming wanted me to look a little different so they changed one or two things that I was wearing, gave my hair and makeup the A-ok and then I was told to sit in a van. Felicity Huffman got on and introduced herself to me. “Hi! I’m Felicity!” (What?!) Guys she was seriously so nice. A couple of makeup people and crew got on as well as Doug Savant (who plays her husband).
Everyone was really nice, funny and genuine. They really seemed to like each other a lot. It was nice to see especially because that show is always rumored to have problems on set. I mean it’s possible but I didn’t see any evidence of it. They gave me some breakfast and then they needed me right away. I had to walk down Wisteria Lane and Felicity Huffman had to walk past me into her house. I had to look sad. That was it. When it was done everyone shook my hand and thanked me for being there. Felicity Huffman HERSELF said, “It was nice to meet you Coleen! See you later!” Now guys. Like I said, I did a little bit of extra work a few years back. There were two independent movies (which I never caught their names), one commercial for the New York Stock Exchange (which I never saw) and a network TV show that bombed. On ALL of those sets, I NEVER had a director or a costuming person or a lighting guy or a makeup guy or one of the PRINCIPLE ACTORS (who is an Emmy winner, a Golden Globes winner and an Oscar-nominated actress) shake my hand and thank me for my time. Very professional and very nice. I won’t expect it on other sets just in case but it was really nice that they took the time. On other sets, the principle actors (who were seriously nobody you have ever heard of before your life) wouldn’t even deign to sit in the same area as the background people. EXCEPT for the show I was on. That guy was nice and for the life of me I can’t remember his name or the title of the show. Anyway, I’m not trying to diss anyone, just to make the point that it was an all-around really truly positive experience and I’m lucky to have had it. Also I found out that it airs on January 9th. Honestly they might end up cutting me though because I was HELLA nervous AND looked pretty bad. (They wanted me to look drab but the only stuff he had that would fit me was WAY bigger than me so I kind of looked like a homely potato sack/sad sack combo. Watch it if you’re into that kind of thing haha.)

This is the costuming trailer that I’m standing in front of.  Sorry the picture quality isn’t good, I didn’t want anyone to slap me.  Those trailers behind are makeup and I guess the star’s trailers.

This picture is taken from the Extras Holding Area.  This is the “backyard” of one of the houses on Wisteria Lane.  They have a heated little section you can sit in until they want you so you don’t get into the scene or be pesky in any other way.  The picture of the chairs at the top is also from that section.  There is also a lil breakfast area to the right of this yard.  Donuts, coffee, danish, cereal, bagels, a toaster, juice, that kind of thing.  It was really cute.

And here is my drive on. Yes I decorated it in Picnik with whimsical fairy tale beasts but that is only to protect the innocent. And YES they spelled my first name wrong but I ain’t one of those bitches who is all bothered if their name is spelled right. My philosophy has always been this:
I don’t care where the funk I sit in the car so long as I’m in the damn car.
And it applies here. Like whoa. So I kind of edited out all pertinent info about who where and how. Good times.

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