I know I was going to start “doing things” but I got to eating some pancakes which reminded me that I WANT things. It’s been a long time since I’ve written a semi-cohesive list of things I want/require and I think it’s important sometimes to put that shit out into the ether. I am not a God-fearin’ woman (despite my Mother’s and Grandmothers’ best efforts) but I basically believe in the power of prayer. I try not to use the word “prayer” much because it’s so loaded with dogma (for me) but I do believe in putting your hopes, dreams and wishes into focused thought. I DO believe that you can draw the things you want to you. The downside of such a public display of “want” is that the assholes who do not “want” you to “have” will be counter-praying for you not to get what you want but that is a chance this idiot woman has to take.
List of want:
1) A job “for now”. Just one to pay the bills until I can get…
2) A job “I want”. This job doesn’t have to be glamorous just in the field I want it to be in so I can get ON the ladder.
3) To go to Disneyland during this Christmas season. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our stint working at Disney World over the holidays in 2002. I worked in the Magic Kingdom from August 2002 to January 2003 and the park, ALL of the parks were never so beautiful as they were during Halloween and ESPECIALLY Christmas. The weather is similar in LA as it is in Orlando so I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and really want to go. Also, I found these glasses they gave us at MGM for their Christmas light show. When you put them on, they turn all twinkly lights into the the shape of angels. It’s weird/awesome.
4) To go to Knott’s Berry Farms for Christmas. That park is Peanuts gang themed and they have call the park “Knott’s Merry Farm” during Christmas. It would be like LIVING in “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. I die.
5) I want Kristyn to be able to work part-time at the Vet Hospital. She’s been working her ASS off since we got here and she is really burnt out. We wouldn’t be able to afford her to not work at all because we’d be back to square one but I think if I can get a decent paying job, she could work part-time while interning. She deserves it. As it is now, she only has ONE day off a week and she spends that catching up on all the shit she couldn’t do all week. Poor Krissy.
6) I want to come home. We need to visit home DESPERATELY. Once I get a job, we can come home for at least a quick weekend jaunt. I can’t wait for that. I want to hug our families and especially Nana. We almost lost her this year and she is still sick. I want to sit and drink tea at her kitchen table SO BADLY. *suck it up Coleen, this is not a time for weepiness*
7) I want to re-join Weight Watchers. I really like that program and it worked well for me. I felt good/healthy when I was on it. What I liked best about it was that I was doing something only for ME. I also liked the sense of support/community that came with it. I can count points on my own but I do better with a group setting.
8) I want to join the Hollywood YMCA. I perversely miss walking on a treadmill and using weight machines. Plus they have a pool. What?
9) I want to take classes at Upright Citizen’s Brigade. Although I am a blabbermouth, I do NOT do well performing in front of others. BUT I want to take their sketch comedy writing class and you have to take Improv 101 to do that I think. Also, even if that’s not true, I think it would be useful to learn “the rules of the game” and do it myself if I’m going to learn to write sketches. (FYI, I actually don’t like sketch comedy at ALL but I would like to write scripts one day and I think it would be a handy tool to have in my pocket.)
10) I want to move the hell out of this apartment. Nothing more needs to be said, you all know why.
11) I want to learn how to use Kristyn’s Mother’s sewing machine. It’s pretty and it works great but I can’t figure out how to get the bobbin out. Blerg.
12) I want to fix my “style”. I am already working on this. Like I said, my counselor told me that this is a worthy goal if you are job seeking so I got a haircut/trim and painted my nails. I’ve been experimenting with makeup again and dressing up every day. Also, I dug some earrings out of my jewelry box and I’m glad that I did. I found a pair that my Grandma Barr brought me back from Glasgow. They are silver and very Celtic-looking. They’d originally come with a necklace but I lost them one frigid winter morning in the shower. I THINK that when I was getting undressed I must have broken the clasp on the necklace because I heard a clink and noticed that my necklace was hanging down unclasped, the pendant gone. I think it went down the drain. F. I was going to make one of the earrings into pendant but I think I like’m as earrings and now I feel like they’re a good luck talisman so that’s that.
13) I want to decorate for Christmas. I am fighting this every minute I am alive. Trying to be patient.
14) I want to get into a good school. I am working on this goal.
15) I want to buy new dishes. Although I love the ones we bought from that family, I want new kitchenware. All of our utensils, plates, pots and pans all started out belonging to other people. I think we need our own shit. All of our stuff is mismatched/hodgepodge.
16) We need new bedding and new covers for the couches. These ones are okay but getting a bit threadbare.
17) We need a new kitchen table and chairs. These ones are on their last legs literally and figuratively.
18) We need to get the cable back on. I feel disconnected to the world.
19) I need a car. I am so tired of public transportation and of doing the “car shuffle” ie having to drive Kristyn 40 minutes in either direction to work so I can do a twenty minute errand.
20) I want to go to Scotland. I have people to see and places to be there. To do this, I will need a job, saved money and a passport.
SO, all of these things hinge on me getting a job. And THEN I can’t even do ANY of them for months if not at least a year from whence I secure said position because I gots too many bills to pay. But maybe if said “ether” knows that I have big plans, it will reward me with the tools I need to carry said shit out. PLEASE ether, pay the funk attention! Thanks, that’s all.