Belligerent Chucklehead: The Life and Times of an Idiot

Okay can I just first start off by saying that I NEED, no I REQUIRE the above calendar to live my life in 2011? If someone doesn’t supply me with that calendar for Christmas I am going to spend the entirety of 2011 with my eyes shut. If I can’t have that calendar, I don’t even want to SEE one minute of what 2011 looks like. Yeah I’m not above making threats that hurt nobody but myself over this. Well, it’s clear that that logic doesn’t pan out but STILL. I will do it. (Or just, you know, buy it for myself but that’s nowhere near as dramatic and/or in the “Christmas Spirit” so I stand by the above nonsense ON ALL COUNTS.)

And yes, I’ve imbibed a devastating amount of coffee again today only TODAY I am not filled with homicidal rage but rather something akin to “giddiness”. Maybe getting four hours of sleep and then spending all day filling out paperwork with a state funded job agency for people unable to secure work on their own really agrees with me. *shrug*

Got off the horn with my Momma before and Nana is doing a lot better. She’s walking with a cane (and not a walker) now and sometimes barely even that! She made her famous meatballs the other day and watched some football. She shredded all of her junkmail today and decorated for Thanksgiving. She reminded my mother six thousand times that they need to start defrosting the turkey on Saturday. Yep, Nana’s feeling better and up to her old tricks haha. Thank god!

As for us, I’ve been slowly but surely gathering all of our Thanksgiving foods together. We can’t eat together on Thursday because Kristyn has work so we’re going to have our meal on Friday. We’re gonna stop by a friend’s house on Tuesday after Kristyn gets out of her internship (the friend is one of Kristyn’s coworkers at her main job and so nice for inviting us)…I have barely worked on my Harry Potter/Thanksgiving themed blanket at all because I’ve been furiously job hunting and dealing with stuff around the house.

Also I started applying to some schools for next fall. I want to be able to go to school around work. I know it seems foolish to be focusing on that when we have so much going on but what happens if I STILL don’t have a job by then? I know plenty of people who’ve been out of work for way more than a year. I just don’t want to waste any time. If I get a job and then get into a good school that DOESN’T allow me to do both then I will have a beautiful choice to make. If I get a job and get into a school that allows me to do both, I’ll work it out somehow. If I don’t get a job but get into a school, I can throw myself into school, probably get grants and continue to live meagerly while furthering my education. If I don’t apply to school and THEN don’t get a job? Well then I’d naturally have to throw myself off a bridge. (So you know, I’d never do that but the status of my frustration would be the same.) I’d rather have a few irons in the fire than no irons in the fire, no?

Also, today I went to a job recruitment center that is funded by the state. It’s actually pretty cool because they have a LOT of resources available including job training for specific jobs (like banking, office work, green jobs, etc). They also give you full use of their computers, printers, fax machines and the internet for job seeking. They will pair you with your own counselor and train you how to tweak your resume, do pretend interviews with you and give you feedback on what you’re doing right/wrong AND they even have Rosetta Stone so you can learn another language to make yourself a more valuable candidate! I wish I’d done all of this six months ago seriously. I mean, I know that the word “Welfare” is extremely loaded with negative connotations but guys, it’s a seriously handy resource. Most people’s view of welfare is just lazy people receiving checks while lazing around at home watching Maury. There are posters up all over the welfare center depicting people who have attempted fraud. IT SHOWS THEIR ACTUAL PICTURE, WHAT THEY DID AND HOW MUCH TIME THEY ARE CURRENTLY SERVING IN PRISON. You’d have to be crazy or desperate to do something like that. There are just a lot of nifty systems in place to help people who are going through rough times. And because the economy is so bad, Obama has put a lot more programs in place to help people like me NOT become homeless. Thanks Obama! *HUG!*

And this is gonna sound weird but this experience TOTALLY appeals to my inherent nosiness. I am a person who needs to know about EVERYTHING. I want to know how everything works and what the experience of everything is so to me, this is kind of like undercover investigative work haha. I pity the fool who mutters a bad word about welfare in front of me. You KNOW how I can go on and NOW I have a first hand leg to stand on. Watch out!

So that’s that, a day in the life of a moron. I am going to go pester Kristyn to pay attention to me so we can watch “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist”. Also I know that if I don’t DRAG her away from her work, she won’t enjoy one second of her only day off. She needs to be FORCED to have fun. Drill Sargeant Coleen says, “Drop and give me giggles!” (That was a stretch, I know. Sue me. I TOLD you I’m all hopped up on caffeinated goofballs.)

And I present the following to you (found at that mall on Pico) without comment (and trust me that is DIFFICULT because I had about a 100 Newark jokes going). (Goddammit I commented didn’t I?):

 

P.S. I want to say that “belligerent” has always been one of my favorite words BECAUSE the word “warlike” always pops up in definitions for it.  The word “belligerent” is rarely used in that context and is moreso just used as a dramatic word to definine someone who doesn’t quit.  And this is the word nerd in me speaking but for some reason whenever I use the word “belligerent” I can’t help but think of “warlike” and then I giggle.  Always.  It’s the little things in life I tell you.

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3 thoughts on “Belligerent Chucklehead: The Life and Times of an Idiot

  1. Pingback: Happy New Year everybody! « Buberella's Blog

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