A Spaced Out Ramble for Your Viewing Pleasure

Mondays are Kristyn’s day off and now that we have the Internet reconnected she doesn’t have to go into her internship to keep up with writing the music blog. This means that we have one full day to do shit together! And that is up from no days so we consider ourselves lucky for the time being.

I had an appointment at 8am that I thought was going to take three hours for some reason but really actually took less than twenty. This kind of fuckocked me up because I was up until probably about 3am tossing and turning a bit. Then I had to get up at 6:30 to be to Glendale for 8. It’s not far but I didn’t want to be late.

I had a good time on the way there though because I got to talk on the horn with my friend Rachel. That was a nice way to start the day! I should do all my horn-talking at that time because I was freshly caffeinated.

So basically I got no sleep and then amped myself up on goofballs to have a fifteen minute appointment so I could turn my fat ass back around again and go home. I tried to wake Kristyn up but she refused to even acknowledge me. She played possum so hard that THE ONLY question she would answer is, “Are you ignoring me?” She responded with the very tiniest nod a person can make. It was barely a nod and could have easily been passed off as a tick. But I know Kristyn and she will try to get away with the vaguest phrasing and gestures as humanly possible. That tiny spasm meant, “GO AWAY YOU WHITE DEVIL.” Well, alright.

I let Kristyn sleep until noon and I watched Buffy Season Three, Disc Five in the living room. During this time I emailed animal control to narc on our jerky neighbors who never ever bring their barky crying dog inside. I also FB’d all of this shit.

Then I passed the hell out for two hours. In that time I had a nightmare that kind of went something like this:

I was floating in a septic tank trying to get away from a serial killer that I think was the Dad of one of my friends. I was Edie Falco a la Nurse Jackie. I was trying to grab a hold of this floating box/pipe thingy. Next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor of a bathroom over a drain WITH the serial killer/Dad. He *might* have been Rob Cordry come to think of it. I was still Edie Falco. But sometimes I was kind of floating above and watching me/Edie Falco do shit. Anyway, me and serial killer/Dad/Rob Cordry and I had become friends and wanted to make Sloppy Joes together. I basically poured chopped meat down the drain and we were all, “Whoops!”

I woke myself up and told Kristyn I just had a nightmare. She asked me what it was about and I told her I didn’t want to talk about it. You can see why.

After that we decided to get on with our tasks. We’ve been keeping a book of To Do Lists and it’s been helping us keep track of all of our shit. Today we has a lotta stuff on the list.

First, we had to (finally) put the California plates on the car. We’ve had’m ever since “The Car’s Been Towed”-Gate 2010 (AKA sometime this past summer). We just keep saying we’ll do it and then not doing it. Time
kind of slips past you easier when there’s no weather to mark changing of the seasons.

For the life of us we could not get the goddamn nuts off the NJ plates. Kristyn did what we always do in times of car crisis: Call her Dad. He said, “Go to Koko!” Koko is the mechanic around the corner. He is a really nice guy who’s helped us in the past and charges a fair rate.

Before shuffling over to Koko and begging for his help, we stopped at the bank to deposit our rent check for our landlord. Then we stopped at Rite Aid to buy wire for the Internet (they didn’t have it) and get cash back to pay Koko. Everyone around Rite Aid had ice cream cones and it turns out that Rite Aid has a pretty slammin ice cream parlor inside it. We each got a “one scoop” cone of Birthday Cake that was giant and only cost a bean. It should not be ice cream cone weather on November 1st though. Just saying.

So we went to see Koko and he gave us the greeting everyone always gives us, “GIRLS!!!!” Wouldn’t you know, that Koko has the nuts off in a mothercrunkin jiff. We were dazzled by the handy tool he was using. Turns out it was just a rachet but we’re kind of dumb so that was that. He wouldn’t let us pay him and he even put the plates on FOR US! What a guy! Here he is:

Oh also (and this is for Kristyn’s Dad the rest of you can tune out): Kristyn checked the oil and then added some as needed. Haha.

After that talked on the horn with Kristyn’s Dad again and then went to the Silver Lake Library and returned books.

After that we drove to Time Warner to return their cable and Internet boxes.

On our way home we were going to stop at the supermarket or CVS to buy the Internet wire. We were driving down Santa Monica when we came to the most disgusting stretch of it which happens to be in Hollywood right by our house. We were noting how horrifying and junky all the stores looked when we saw a plastic Animaniacs Halloween mask in the window of one of the junk shops. For some reason this made us look for parking. I was excited by the prospect of looking through junk (because I’m like that) and Kristyn (rightly) figured that they’d have cheap Internet wire.

We ended up buying a few household things that we forgot that we used to buy in dollar stores even WHEN we had two decently paying jobs. Cleaning supplies, body powder, sponges, q-tips etc…In NJ we knew where to go to buy stuff to get a deal. We don’t know where to buy things cheaply here so we end up paying full price for things we wouldn’t have before when we had money. Stupid!

So I found this bee-yewt.

Here’s another one:

We then found a really crazy Thrift Store that had more VHS tapes than you’ve ever seen in your LIFE. Which is awesome because guess who is about to restart her VHS collection? I gave mine all away when we moved and now all I have are the Rocky movies. I don’t think I should watch them again for a while because I tend to go off on lengthy Rocky sermons on social networking sites when I’m watching them. Best to shelve them for a while and give my loved ones a break. (Be back in six months!) I am desperate for Forrest Gump on VHS though so get ready for the diatribe on that. Coming to a rambling blog near you.

After that we came home, made General Tso’s Tofu and Veggies, Veggie Rice and Veggie Egg Rolls. The bomb.

We were going to set up the computer properly (it’s at the kitchen table because the Internet wire is too short and the jack is over there) but I’m like dizzy with fatigue. Instead she is writing for LA Music Blog and I am blurting out all of these riveting stories to you. So shoot me I don’t get out much. YOU KNOW THAT. This constitutes news for a bitch, just roll with it.

So I guess that’s it. I’m going to watch more Buffy and try to get Kristyn to let me watch some Modern Family. She likes that show but she likes to put up a fight sometimes just to be contrary haha. G’nite fools!

P.S. Also, I got my monthly Richard Simmons newsletter and forwarded it to Dana my former HR Representative first thing this morning, as you do. Here is Richard’s Thanksgiving Clip Art. Yes you will see this again on Thanksgiving if I can remember it.

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