I’m nauseous.

For the past few days I have been extremely nauseous for no damn reason. My stomach isn’t affected by anything so this is sort of an uncommon feeling for me. It’s not terrible, it’s just that once in a while I feel like I’m going to yack but the feeling goes right away.

I was watching “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” last night and kept getting nervous because of the nausea. I had to keep reminding myself that there was no way possible for me to be unintentionally pregnant. This idea soothed me a bit but I have been pretty unfocused lately meaning that as soon as the idea was beat down, it would pop up again once I moved away from the thought. Even now I just had a thrill of paranoia that I could one night get lower abdominal pains and suddenly have a daughter named Clementine*.

* After watching “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, I was dead set on naming my future daughter Clementine. Kristyn has been trying to talk me out of this decision for somanyyearsnow. I’ve finally come around to realize what a potentially disasterous idea this is but whenever I rewatch this movie (or even the clip below — which I cried at by the way), I revisit the idea. And FOR SURE, if I accidentally squatted out a girlchild after enduring what I thought was a really bad case of gas, I would be in NO right state of mind to name a child. I can tell you as a fact that “Clementine!” would pop up out of my mind, I’d sign some forms and there you have it. Instant enmity from my spawn. “WHY MOM? WHY?!” “Because that movie breaks my heart Clemsies.” (Clemsies would undoubtably be one of the many nicknames that would fall out of my mouth for this child.)

Here is a video of that movie so you can have your heart broken and weep confused/nauseous/bored tears as well (I need a job):

UPDATE: I just watched that youtube video again (a few hours later) and cried AGAIN. I am SUCH an easy mark for weepy movies, haha. Good, good times.

Other than all this bullarcky (bullshit/malarcky) above, I’ve been doing tons of fuckockery (fuckery/mockery?) with my stubby-fingered hands. I have become a Paint-By-Numbers fool. Here are my “masterpieces”:

The good thing about Paint-By-Numbers is that it’s been kind of training me to paint more accurately and with precision. I usually kind of glob a bunch of paint onto a giant brush and have at it. Then I get confused why the painting looks like Mr. Hankey had at it. Here is my stab at Bea Arthur last night:

Bea is part of a larger plan I have and she’s not done yet. I just wanted to show her around the place a little.

Okay that’s enough kidinky dust (a bullarcky word compliments of Kristyn’s dear Grandma) from me for tonight, no?

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