A Conundrum

This morning I started hearing a cat howling in my neighborhood.  It sounded hurt and it was driving my cats to drink.  I had the front and back door open and they were making themselves and me crazy running from one door to the next to track the sounds.  I kept going outside and walking the streets in my cat hair coated pajamas and nada.

I was sitting at the computer and posting my blog about “House” when I hear my cats start to go apeshit at the back door. I look over and there is one too many cats. Through the door, I see a white cat sitting on the other side of the screen door like he hasn’t a care in the world. Meanwhile, my cats are like writhing and making otherwordly noises.

I shoo them into the room and go outside. This cat is GORGEOUS. He’s all white (I know he’s a he bc I know alright?). His eyes are very, very light-colored, maybe even different colors. He’s very dirty. He’s VERY friendly. He was rolling over onto his back playfully and letting me pet him. SUCH a nice little guy. I tried to pick him up a coupla times to bring him inside but homie don’t play that. He started freaking and I dropped him before he could scratch me.

I brought him out some dry food and honestly, he didn’t care for it. He just wanted some lovin. Now I don’t know what the fuck but this has GOT to be someone’s precious kitty. He’s way too nice and social to be feral. Someone’s losing their mind in LA right now and I have juuuust what they’re looking for.

Well, I tired him out eventually (as I do) and he marched off. I followed him as he led me on an extremely extreeeeemely slow-paced chase scene. He wasn’t even trying. And I didn’t want to be even more overbearing than I already am so I was just kind of meandering behind him trying to get him to listen to reason.

“If you let me pick you up for a second, I can feed you, clean you up and bring you back to where you belong, sir.”

“Oh REALLY now. You’re being impossible Mister.”

“Dude, fine, you know where I live. Holler at me later.”

So he sauntered away and I went back inside.

I got out a cat carrier and put a plate of wet food down on it, hoping that he’d fall into my trap. Sure enough, my cats start making weird sounds and almost like humping the floor in disgust. I see the cat and he’s sitting on the other side of the door calmly. He doesn’t give a shit about the food.

I go outside and her doesn’t bother to get up. I pet him and he jumps up, flirts, has a good time. Overzealously, I pick him up and try to dump him into the carrier. He ends up cutting me (which I HAVE cleaned up thoroughly) and gets away. I’ve destroyed his trust. Boo.

So I left that shit out there all day, nothing. Suddenly, there he is again. A giant meow outside the door. I go out there and he runs the feck away and walks directly through a solid wall into the side of my house. Wait, what?

I follow and I find a GAPING hole on the side of my house. NOW I know why we hear scratching behind the walls sometimes. Bitches are getting in and like living in my wall and they have an open door access to do it. So now, IDK what to do. Do I close off the hole? What if something gets stuck in there and dies then? Do I let well enough alone and allow animal friends, Annyong, and any friendly tramp that comes along live inside my walls?

Well let’s shelve that question so I can tell you what I did. I put some wet food, some dry food, some water and some catnip outside. I have a towel by the door. If that cat makes so much as a peep outside the door, I’m going to run out and nab him in the towel. I’ll get you my pretty.

To be continued (maybe).

Also, I couldn’t find a good Annyong video but this made me laugh so here ya go:

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