The Story of LA: Packing Edition

So I know I already blathered on and on about the packing and moving segment of the move to LA but there’s more. I just uploaded all these here pictures and you’re gonna like it, see? Here I lead you into the topsy turvey world that is…CROSS COUNTRY MOVING:

This is the first box I packed. I've always been overly sentimental. Don't act surprised.

We had just started packing and I took some pictures for posterity. You can find the HELLA mess pictures on my flickr, I won't torture you with them here.

Kristyn packing her beloved CD's. We have NO IDEA how much work is ahead of us yet. So naive.

A loverly picture of our mattress with Elvira on top. The cats could not resist this high perch.

These are the eyesore posters we made for the House Sale. We made bank but I will never have a House Sale again so long as I live. Dirty, cheap bastards, in my house, wanting to take my stuff. I still have flashbacks of this weekend and it's not welcome.

Our Show Room. Don't be jealous!

This picture is called: The Calm Before the Storm

In the above picture, I hadn’t yet run to the window and shrieked, “NO EARLY BIRDS!!!” to a gaggle of waiting lady vultures who were ringing the doorbell off the hook fifteen minutes before the sale started. The cab driver who molested me every day on my way to work hadn’t shown up yet. The Asian Lady didn’t steal that DVD stand from us yet. The kid with ADHD hadn’t yet arrived and ripped a hole out of an exercise ball with his teeth. Nor had he taken a baton and smashed it on everything in the house while his mother calmly looked at CDs. He also hadn’t overturned a box of loose beads onto the floor and scattered them throughout the house. His mother hadn’t yet hung out for three straight hours followed by walking out with $15 worth of merchandise without paying for it. The Swindler Lady had not yet come and scammed Kristyn out of a lot of money by tricky hand moves and guilt trips. I hadn’t yet confronted the same woman in the Supermarket as she was shaking down the cashier over some Little Debbie Cakes. “I WILL CALL THE POLICE NEXT TIME LADY!!! I’LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOU! YOU’LL NEVER YARD SALE SHOP IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!” (This woman scammed us in the summertime too at a yard sale. She took my friend Becky’s purse and shoved it in her own and gave her a dollar though the price had been $15. {She also wanted to buy the glasses off my sister’s face!} When Becky demanded the purse back, the lady told her she was rich and could get another one. Becky screamed, “You don’t know my socioeconomic status!!!” and the woman started crying. They actually FONDLED each others FACES at this point and I think some gentle kisses were exchanged. Becky ran over and said, “I just made someone cry!!” And the woman stood on the side of our house and weeped. But later we realized it was a scam and were over it.) The woman hadn’t come yet and told me a fable about how her husband had been shot and killed in Florida. Nor did we meet the woman yet who showed up at the last second and tried to talk me down to peanuts for all the most expensive things left in my house. I didn’t know I would later call the police on this woman. I also didn’t know I’d need backup in the form of friends looming as she took my Tony Little Gazelle from my clutches for $15 rather than the $50 I wanted for it because the Kearny Police Department said that I’d entered into a verbal agreement over it after she pressured me into agreeing that she could buy it. I certainly did not expect to force this woman to sign a handwritten contract and then receive a tender hug from her. None of these things had happened yet and it was a simpler, more innocent time.

But Lori and Billy brought Chewbacca over to visit! And many friends and family stopped by!

Kristyn and Edith were tired.

And even Monster needed a little shuteye.

But something hilarious happened because Kristyn and Janie decided to move a dresser down the stairs.

...and me and Christine helped by taking pictures and waving at each other. Oh and by laughing. We laughed too.

But the dresser got outside and yes, that is the tiny car we stuffed it in. Note the look of naked despair on Christine's face. Also note how everyone's spine is painfully curved from carrying shit.

Loooooong story short, we fit everything into the Relocube. It took like ten of us and so...much...time...and...strain but we got it all in there.

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