This is a picture of Kristyn and I enjoying various hobbies…she’s juggling while I’m taking pictures of her juggling, hahaha…
This weekend a bunch of people came over to wish Kristyn a fond farewell from Girlieaction. We drank Sangria, we chuckled over things, we ate stuff and we kicked over the cat’s food bowl. We had a good time. During said good time, we discussed my “Goals” list that I’ve hung up on my bedroom door. I have put things like “Magic”, “Juggling”, and “Graphic Novel” on this list (which I obtained a bit of good-natured guff about). But seriously though, magic, juggling and graphic novels ARE goals of mine. Remember last spring, Kristyn, me and her father were fixing to start working children’s birthday parties to make extra money by doing magic, juggling and face painting? Well we haven’t done it in a long time and we need to get back into it. We did one show (well with me there) and it was a pretty damn easy way to make a quick buck…not to mention it was a lot of fun and really creative. Plus the kids and the parents loved it. Also, we were able to donate our time to that Autism walk painting faces with Janie. We met a lot of great people and had a really good time. So I need to get back to that STAT. Things are getting dull up in this piece and I need to get back to doing the things that I like to do. Friday night, Kristyn and I juggled for everyone. Vanessa kept telling me to cross it off the list bc I can already juggle. But the list is not a “cross-off” list. It’s a reminder list. Like a kick in the ass list for when I’m feeling down or bored or I’ve lost my sense of purpose. Oh and the graphic novel thing, it’s because I want to write a graphic novel. I certainly have enough stories for it and I know HOW to do it, I just have to actually sit down and do it is all. The thing with me is that I put so much pressure on myself for everything to be perfect. I can’t do anything if I don’t do it perfectly. And I put this stress on myself and it leads me to inaction bc I have to be “up to it” or “need time for it”, etc…For some reason, the principle of doing “a little bit every day” has never really sunk in for me. I’m an all or nothing kind of gal and it really really f’s up a lot of things in my life…bc I procrastinate until a project is so huge it is unmanageable and then I cry bc I have failed myself…again.
Anyway, I just was at one of probably the most boring meetings I’ve ever attended in my life. It was a meeting regarding the launch of some website at work. I mean this website WILL affect me bc it WILL be something I will have to manage and deal with in a daily basis…BUT I don’t really need to attend a meeting every two months, outlining the minutia of the development or the whys and hows of this site. When it’s up and running, call me, tell me how to find things and I will immediately start using it. I won’t complain about it, I won’t suggest things be different, I will just adapt and move on with my life…I know that not everyone will and therefore I guess they figure they can stop the flow of worrywarts and negative nancies at the quick, get suggestions NOW instead of afterward and incorporate them in if they’re intelligent-enough suggestions. Anyway, the point of me telling you this is that I bounced. I’ve never walked out of a meeting before but it was just this British lady droning on and on. I was sitting directly over a radiator and the combination of her droning and me near-fainting due to the heating was enough so that I had to just get up and go, hahaha. I’m pretty sure the meeting is letting out just now (and I left a half hour ago…I DID manage to hang on for a half hour, to my credit).
All of this made me ponder what the hell I am still doing at this company. It is really nice. It is really professional. It is really employee-oriented. It’s just dull as dishwater and I need to be on my feet and talking to people…OR at my desk but working with people…none of this sitting at my desk talking to no one all damn day, ugh.
Anyway, that’s my blather for right now. I’m still hot from that damn radiator and I forgot that I’m wearing a sweater today that has big enough holes (designed into the fabric) that you can TOTALLY see my giant tattoo. Oh well, haha.